Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Loser Gifts that are..hopefully...not on Your Giftlist

I just can't believe how anyone would pay good money on any of the gifts on Dave Barry's Annual Christmas List. I guess that's why they are on there...because we just can't believe it. Get a good belly laugh or two by reading these.

I think I have a few of my own I'd like to add as well:

That thing in the photo. My first thought was...wow, her head and arms exploded...but then again, maybe it's meant to hold jewelry...earrings? Is this something you give someone you don't really like? Where would you even find such a thing?

The Peticure. This is apparently crap, like most of the other as-seen-on-TV items. This thing is supposed to work like a Dremel and grind down your pet's nails and file away the dust in a cute little vacuum-like container. Doesn't work..it's flimsy...barely works on a Chihuahua and is made of the cheapest materials possible. Learn to use a Dremel instead.

The Moo Mixer. This thing will last about a day...it creates some kind of a vortex to mix your chocolate and your milk, directly in the drinking container. Also add that your kid will make an absolute mess in the kitchen as they learn about centrifugal force and what it can do.

Twirling Spaghetti Fork. How lazy can you get? Another battery-operated gadget that will end up in the trash. Watch your kid spray bright red spaghetti sauce all over your white walls with this one...forget it..and quickly...

The Peter Petrie Egg Seperator. Look...you will terribly upset the cook on your list if you get them one of these...it is not funny and not comical but just nasty. This is not funny...might be mildly amusing for the non-cook, but what do they know about separating the yolk from the rest of the egg anyway.

Edible Underwear. I know you're trying to be sexy or your significant other wants you to look sexy...this won't do it. Do you really think this stuff will stay up...where it's supposed to be? It'll be down by your ankles and not because your significant other made 'em go there. Or it'll disappear in your crotch as you walk from the bathroom to your bed.

Anything you think is artistic to anyone artistically inclined. They know art better than you...plus they have more than you'll ever know. Stick with things you know. And no...things from Hallmark and the Franklin Mint are not considered art items.

And lastly, my favorites....regifted items that are clearly regifted. I have no problem regifting items that may be of use or joy to the next person...but please don't regift items that have been used or are so well worn to be noticeable...unless it's an antique...Merry Christmas and happy shopping.

What have been your "favorite" gifts throughout the years?

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