Best Way to Communicate During Deployments

I am always amazed these days of how easy it is to communicate with a deployed spouse. I'm not THAT old, and I can still remember writing letters and eagerly waiting on the mail. How times have changed! In light of these changes...keep these things in mind.

Instant communication is not always best. I can't tell you the number of emails I've received from readers who got worried, when their hubby didn't log onto Skype or some kind of instant messenger or email. For the last umpteen days, they've been hearing from him at the same time....every day...like clockwork..and the one day he doesn't log on, the wife goes into a frenzy. Most times, the husband was just taking out the trash...literally. You know how First Sergeants are...do this and do that...on their schedule and not yours...his latest mission may just be running an errand for his boss...or another soldier...it may not even be dangerous...but here we are worrying about next to nothing.

So here's my solicited advice to all.

• Do not expect to hear from your significant other every day. Do you know every time you "talk" or email with him, his guard is down, and when he gets off the phone or whatever with you...he has to get back into the "warrior mindset"? This can ultimately cost lives. What if he is on a mission..and he is either worried he won't get to Skype at the designated time, or he is daydreaming about something you said earlier? Let's not give him so many instances where he has to get himself back in the game...for lack of a better phrase.
• Absence does make the heart grow fonder. You can get some amazing build-up of love and passion, just by....wait for it, wait for it...it's just like when you were a kid...that candy tasted so much better when you waited for it. I still get butterflies when my husband comes home...almost 20 years later!
• Do write letters. One, cause he can stuff them in his shirt, and keep them close. Two, cause he doesn't need electronics to read and re-read them. Stick one under your pillow for a few days before mailing it...it's amazing how smells still linger after going thru the mail! And save the heavy stuff, ie issues and problems for well after he gets home...again, you don't want to get him out of his current mindset.
• Email is still a good choice. I always like to share the day-to-day stuff...that most people would find boring, but I can tell you...when you are deployed...you crave that sense of normalcy...use descriptive words and talk about your day, however boring you may find it. Attach a few downsized photos every now and then of the family so he isn't shocked when he gets home and your hair is purple and the kids are now taller than he is.
• Phonecalls every now and then are fine...but don't make them a regularly scheduled thing...it'll just bring more stress...to the both of you. Look at a phonecall as a big surprise! It'll make it that much nicer.

What recommendations do you have for keeping in touch with your loved one?